8 Days

Well, there are only 8 days until my senior exhibition.  This means that Kristen has been in mass production mode AND freak out mode.

In the past two days I made 36 cyanotypes.  Tonight I am going to tone all of those.  This week I am working 30 hours at my 'part-time' job.  Yes, 30 hours the week before my senior exhibition...just freaking awesome.  I have so much to get done and among all of that it is Thanksgiving Break, meaning I am going home Wednesday night to spend a (hopefully) relaxing Thanksgiving with my family and boyfriend.  I am hoping I can turn my brain off Thursday so I can enjoy this awesome food-filled holiday.

Well I have to be at work in 30 minutes and I just got out of the shower.  Guess I am going to be late...is it bad that I don't care? I wish I didn't have to work this semester.  Maybe my life would have been just a little less stressful.  O well, guess I will never know!

I will post some pictures tonight when I get up to the studio :)

Happy Sunday!

Editing

Yesterday I spent about four hours in the Print Lab editing my negatives and printing off more digital negatives to use.  By editing I simply mean - removing dust, marks, scratches, and adjusting the levels so that I can produce the best digital negative possible for my cyanotypes.  Sometimes I hate that I am so OCD when it comes to this part of the process, but I think it pays off in the end.
Example:

35mm Negative scanned into the computer - before any editing

After editing - all I did was remove all the dust and marks and adjust the levels

This is why I do love Photoshop so much :)

Toned Cyanotypes

Since I am extremely tired I am not going to write much today but I did want to share a few photos.  All day today I have been printing cyanotypes and then toning them.  I have 20 toned prints at the moment and I am thinking that  8-10 of them look awesome and are worthy to be in my show :) Hopefully they don't dry too dark though.

Anyway, here are some pictures of the process these little fellas went through to look awesome:

I coated a few more 6x4 pieces of 140#

This one is actually 10x6 inches

I scanned in all of the cyanotypes I made so I can have record of them before I toned them all

The top print: Cyanotype only went in the Tannic Acid Bath
The bottom print: Finished product - Tannic Acid bath, water bath, Sodium Carbonate bath, water bath
Huge difference right?! I love it :)

Finished product!! I am REALLY happy with this one.  Originally I wanted it to be 18x12 but I am liking the 10x6. We shall see...

 Thoughts on what you think are more than welcome :D

Cyano-ed

Today I came into the studio at 6:30pm.  Even though it doesn't look like I accomplished much, I do feel like I got a lot done.  I went ahead and sized all of my paper that I have (I desperately need to buy more but am lacking the funds).  I then coated all 60 pieces of paper - it really didn't seem like that many while I was doing it.  The sizes vary: 6x4 to 12x12 pieces.

Even though I am tired, I decided to expose a few of them just so I can have something to look at tomorrow that is completed.  I exposed seven 6x4 prints and one 10x6 - hopefully they look good after they have dried and do not darken too much.

One thing that is awesome about making smaller prints is that I can expose more that one at a time :)

Three 6x4 prints in the contact frame ready to be exposed

The paper that I am using for my show is Arches Watercolor 140# Rough Coldpress.  The only thing that I do not like about it - and I mean the only thing because this paper is awesome - is that when I develop my cyanotypes it takes forever (and by forever I mean only 15 minutes) for all of the yellow to come out of the highlights.  I know that is really not that long of a time, but I had gotten used to Arches Platine and it's quick 5 minute wash time! But, I will gladly sacrifice the time because 140# gives the most brilliant blue AND has the best texture for my prints.

I am SO happy with how this one turned out.  *Sorry for the glare, the print was drying

Since I am not keeping my prints blue it is a good thing that they turn an amazing eggplant-navy-purple color when I tone them. Yes, I just made up my own color :)

After tonight I am MUCH more motivated to make more cyanotypes.  Before I was just so overwhelmed that I just didn't know what to do with myself.  All I needed to do was just start coating paper and that feeling of accomplishing something fixed everything!

Tomorrow I plan on exposing all the paper I coated - that is my goal at least :)

Showcard

I haven't posted on here in a long time - things have been crazy causing me to be really stressed out.  Time  has slowly crept up on me and is not my friend currently.

There is a month until my Senior Show and I currently only have 1 piece out of 15 that I like:

Toned Cyanotype 22x22 inches

Some say I am being too picky but I just want my show to be perfect.  I want to go out with a bang :)


I made my showcard for my Senior Show and am just waiting for them to arrive in the mail!!

Front of the Card

Back of the Card

Here is a quote that explains the theme of my show perfectly:
“The great omission in American life is solitude. . . that zone of time and space, free from the outside pressures, which is the incinerator of the spirit.”

Daily Walks - Diane Varner

Daily Walks - Diane Varner

Woah - This is pretty much my theme for my show! I thought I was being original....

Beautiful Photographs though!! I highly recommend looking through her blog!

Solitude

That is my new 'theme' for my show.  I haven't written a new artist statement yet but when I feel like sitting down and doing it I will. :)

I am not really feeling very talkative tonight so here are three of my prints that I entered into an Alternative Process Photography Contest.  I find out September 19th if they chose any of mine! I entered 5 in total so keep your fingers crossed :)

Update: So I didn't get into the photo contest but I am not going to give up :)

Cyano-no-no (What not to do)

In the Printmaking studio today attempting to make more 22x22 inch prints and it is taking a long, long time.  I coated a piece of Rives BFK with 30mL of solution and placed it in front of a fan to dry...BIG mistake on my part. The paper dried so fast that the solution didn't have time to sink into the paper - I didn't find this out until after the fact though.  Then, after I exposed it, for 38 minutes mind you, and went to wash it, like I always do, basically all of the cyanotype solution washed off leaving hardly an image on the paper.  If I continued to rinse it for any longer the image would have disappeared leaving the paper white...

Rives BFK with 30mL of solution exposed for 38 minutes

Kinda irritating.  I coated another piece and am currently waiting for it to dry (without the fan) so I can expose the image for 40 more minutes.

Artist Statement

I have to have an artist statement completed for my 1st formal review of the semester, which is September 9th.  I wish I could get all my thoughts and ideas about my works out and into words in an organized manner.  My mind is always bouncing around and it seems that I am just never able to actually take all my thoughts and piece them together in a way that makes sense.  I don't know if it is me just being scared to open up or if I just don't know how to explain my own work in words.  What ever the reason may be, I need to get over it real soon!

Here is my artist statement as of now, mind you it is still in major rough draft mode...

“In order to create, you’ve got to eliminate thinking, then focus and listen to your internal voice.”

One thing I have always done, since I was very little, is attempt to ‘escape’ from this hectic world I am trapped in.  Not only my day-to-day routine of events, but also the millions of ideas and emotions that fly through my brain every minute of every day.  The only time that I truly feel free is when I can escape to a place of serenity with my camera in hand.  When I am able to only see the world through my lens is when I feel as though all is right. 

Intuition is the best way to describe my process as I am taking my photographs and making my pieces.  When I clear my mind of worry and emotions, I believe a natural and pure series of images are created.  The want and desire for the future emerges through my photographs and evokes a dream-like state of mind.  The actual action of taking the photograph is only the beginning of this process. I am apart of my images from start to finish; from loading the film into the camera to hanging the finished print on the wall.  Every action I make will affect that image just as every action I make in life will affect my future.  While I may not be able to tap into my subconscious, I believe my photographs act as a stimulus for the viewer to enter into my world unconsciously. 

I have chosen to use toned cyanotypes as my means of exhibiting my photographs because the image can be portrayed in a manner unlike any silver gelatin print could ever do.  Being able to coat my own paper with the cyanotype chemicals allows me to have the ultimate control over the final product as opposed to any other process.  The original blue from a cyanotype is too bold of a color for the quality of my images.  Therefore I tone the cyanotypes in a Tannic Acid bath until the print changes to a softer dark purple, almost navy color.  These softer, yet prominent, colors enhance the timeless, dreamlike quality of many of images.  

One of my inspirations, Harry Callahan, once said “Who said capturing reality is the point of photography anyway?”.  When I take my photographs I find myself being more interested in capturing the meaning behind reality.   Multiple exposures in-camera expresses the desire and complexity of what is to come later in life for myself.  The mystery of the future and the emotions brought on by my past are what I strive to portray though the rendering of my photographs. 

Please give me feedback, anyone and everyone! Any help would be amazing.   I feel like if someone else would just write about my works then I would be a really happy camper :D

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On a different note....

I made a cyanotype on Canvas the other day.  It surprisingly turned out really awesome, for the first attempt at least.  Originally, I was just going to put one negative on the canvas but I didn't realize how big of a piece I had cut out and coated until I was about to expose the canvas.  Therefore, I quickly pulled out some random medium-format and large-format negatives and placed them on the canvas in an orderly random way (If that makes sense).

Here is the final print hung up and drying:

Closeup of the images

Printing

I have been sitting in Mayfair Hall in the Printing room for two and a half hours printing off digital negatives.  I am about to go off to the Dark Room to make some Cyanotypes on the new paper I bought.

I just wanted to share an amazing 'How-to' guide for Digital Negatives.  I highly recommend this to anyone who is interested in alternative photographic processing! Dan Burkholder knows his stuff that's for sure!


I will post more while I am in the Dark Room waiting on my Cyanotypes to finish up!

Digital Negative over the sensitized paper in the contact printing frame




Print right after it got done 'cooking' in the light for 13 min



Me washing the chemicals off the print

90 days

Well, there are 90 days until my Senior Exhibition and 100 until I graduate from Georgia College. I have been looking into entering a few Photography Contests so I can get my name out there.  I would have to say that my biggest fear is graduating from college and just failing at life.  I know it sounds stupid but honestly this economy is no joke and I am an art major, photography at that.  I feel like the only path I have is to go to grad school but I don't want to do that right now.  I would like to have a year or two to explore.  Explore myself, explore the country, explore the possibilites that are out there for me.

Who knows, maybe after I graduate I will get lucky and get noticed by some famous collector and won't ever have to worry about all this.  One can dream right?....

Format I want to use for a cyanotype - two similar images on top of each other

At a Loss for Words

I have come to realize that I suck at writing about my...well anything. 

I have so much going on up in my head that when I actually try to write about something, I can't. I get frustrated from all the different ideas and viewpoints and research that I just quit.  Instead of writing a neatly organized intellectual paper, or an artist statement for that matter, all I find myself able to do is write messy scribbles of random thoughts out on a piece of paper. I literally have about 10 pages of randomly organized messy notes pertaining to my art and why I do what I do.  But am I able to form all that into a simple 1 paged artist statement? Heck no.  Even with all those notes in front of me I still feel overwhelmed and under prepared.  I have done about 8 months of research and still feel like I MUST do more. I know that one can never do enough research, but I mean really.  I have a time limit here and need some desperate help.

I never thought it was possible to feel so out of control when you try to stay so overly organized.  It seems to me that I am SO organized and too prepared (research & studying wise) that my brain doesn't know what to do.  Allow me to have a conversation with someone about my photographs & I can talk for hours but the second I have to write it down all neat and well prepared I am done for.

Bleh.

Well here is some food for thought:

"Rushing into action, you fail.
Trying to grasp things, you lose them.
Forcing a project to completion,
you ruin what was almost ripe. 

Therefore the Master takes action
by letting things take their course.
He remains as calm
at the end as at the beginning.
He has nothing,
thus has nothing to lose.
What he desires is non-desire;
what he learns is to unlearn.
He simply reminds people
of who they have always been.
He cares about nothing but the Tao.
Thus he can care for all things."

- from the Tao Te Ching

Kodak 35mm - Milledgeville, GA  

Where to go from here

Here is my first 22x22 inch Cyanotype, nicely pressed with my new iron :)

Tomorrow I want to make this same image on Rives BFK and again on Arches Platine but with less chemicals to avoid the puddles I got last time.  I also want the brush strokes to look more whisp like, hair like.  Right now they are too bulky for my liking.  It was the first time I had ever used that brush so I believe that has a major part to it.

Currently I feel stuck.  I do not know where to go from here.  I know what process I want.  I have over 500 pictures.  But I don't feel like the majority of my pictures are what I want to display at my show.  Maybe I feel this way because I have been staring at them for months on end and they just don't jump out at me anymore.  I don't feel any special meaning from them anymore.  I don't have time to be feeling like this.  My show is in 96 days.

Kinda starting to freak out here.  Any suggestions out there?

Huge digital negatives

I am going to share all the steps I have to go through to make a huge digital negative.
First, you have to scan in your negative. Then, you must adjust the levels and curves to your liking. After that is the fun part...cleaning off dust. I currently have my image allowed zoomed in 100% and it is 22x22 inch image. I think it is amazing how you can see all the little silver pieces it takes to make up this image.
This is what that looks like:

After I printed out the large negative I had to venture on over to the Printmaking Lab so I could make my Cyanotype.  First, I coated a 22x30 inch piece of Arches Platine Watercolor Paper with 30mL of chemicals (15mL of solution A & 15mL of solution B). **Note to self, use 20mL total next time because 30mL was too much for that piece of paper.  The solution started to puddle in certain spots because it couldn't soak in.

My piece of coated paper in the lab

Next I made some test strips to determine the correct exposure time for the final print.  I tested three different times: 10 minutes (way too light), 20 minutes (still not enough exposure), & 28 minutes (I needed a little bit more time to get the effect I am going for).  I printed the final print for 35 minutes.  I think I need to adjust the time to 40 minutes and then I should get what I am looking for.

UV Vacuum Box where I expose my prints

Cyanotype directly after it was finished being exposed to light.  I have to wash it for 20 minutes after exposure to remove all the excess chemicals. 

In the middle of me washing my print - you can see the yellow from the chemicals.  All yellow will be white after it all gets washed away.

Exposure: 35 minutes
Cyanotype on the drying rack.  I would be much happier with this print if it was darker so tomorrow I will make one with an exposure of 40 minutes  

Inspiration

I met with Emily today, my professor/advisor, and I believe we had a pretty deep conversation about the meanings of my work. I am still not ready to open up quite yet but I think I am coming closer.  When I asked her what she saw in my images she nailed it on the head - a sense of emptiness, the feeling that something or someone is missing.

Tomorrow we are going to print out a 22 x 30 inch digital negative and make a huge cyanotype.  I am so excited to finally get this thing going.

Emily introduced me to a new artist - Edward J. Steichen.  Wow.  I can truly say that his works & ideas behind his works are so close to mine.  I will be researching him in depth to see if I can get more ideas.

Clouds

I don't know why but I have an odd obsession with clouds. Honestly, every time I look at them a great sense of joy overwhelms my body. The majority of my pictures seem to have this common theme...
Maybe I am starting to come closer to the meaning of my works? Lets hope I do by October at least...

Scanning

I am currently sitting in the Photo Lab waiting on all of my negatives to finish scanning.  It sucks that to scan in 15 negatives at 350dpi as TIF files takes about 30 min.  I have 48 Color negatives to scan in.  And probably about 50+ more in B&W that I took a while ago. Bleh.

Anyway, I really like how the color film looks! I will defanantly start using it more...and I don't have to develop it myself :-)  Here is one of the images I have scanned in already - I haven't had a chance to get the dust off and crop and fully edit these, mind you.

Figi Color Film ISO 200

Color

So today I went out and shot two rolls in Fuji ISO 200 Color Film.  They are currently being developed at CVS and I am very excited to pick them up and scan the negatives onto my computer.

Tonight I am headed to the dark room to coat some of the new paper I bought and then to develop my 120 roll and my Kodak B&W ISO 100 roll.  I will post some of the images up here later tonight!

Shopping

That's right, I finally went shopping for more supplies.  The closest place (that I know of) that carries good quality paper is in Atlanta.  Even that is 2 hours away from me :(  I just hate having to order things off of the internet because then I have to wait about 2 weeks for everything to get here, and on top of that shipping costs are horrible most of the time!

Anyway, I went to Sam Flax in Atlanta, GA to get some paper.  I am still in my experimental phase so I trying to find the best type of paper that will give me the look I want for my Cyanotypes.

This week I am going to test out my papers and hopefully pick my favorite so I can get this collection on a roll.
I have tested (and only had access to) 4 types of paper: Rives BFK, Strathmore Drawing, Canson Drawing, and Arches Platine.  Out of those 4, the Arches Platine is by far my favorite.  The Arches Platine allows the image to show depth unlike Rives BFK which loses just about all mid-tones.

All of these prints are Toned Cyanotypes

Rives BFK - I like the color of the toned prints and regular Cyano but I don't like the dullness and flatness of the image

Strathmore Drawing - the paper tears too easily

Arches Platine - I love the color that this paper tones to and it holds the image very well

Canson Drawing - My LEAST favorite (of course the cheapest paper too)

Those prints were my very first experimental set - I took the same negative (in this case an Ortho Film Negative) and exposed each paper in the light box for the same amount of time.  Then toned each Cyanotype in the exact same manner.  It is amazing to me how each paper causes a different chemical effect. I love it!

Here are two of my more recent works:

Cyanotype on Arches Platine

Toned Cyanotype on Arches Platine - this one turned out very well.  I love the color

For both of those I used digital negatives that I made using Pictorico OHP Film.

Tomorrow I am planning on printing out new digital negatives and then coating a lot of paper so I can test out my new purchases :)

Hidden Meaning

All of my professors keep telling me to find the 'hidden meaning', the true message, of my photography.  Deep down I know that I know the message I am trying to convey through my images, but I am scared to expose myself.  I know that I will have to stand up in front of all the Art Faculty, students, my friends, and family on the opening night of my exhibition, come December, and explain my works to them.  On that night, pretty much everyone that means something to me will know my deepest secret, my greatest fear & fault.  I don't know if I am ready for that.  I don't know how to prepare myself for that.  I do not like talking about my feelings.
That is why I make art! To portray my faults, hopes, fears, dreams, and ambitions in a not so revealing manner.

Father's Day is coming up.  I went to PostSecret's Blog and looked at the postcards sent in about Dads.

PostSecret Postcard

My Father and I when I was 1½ yrs old

Eh, stupid I know. Things happen.  People change...I have changed because of it.

I have to drive to go see him tomorrow so I should probably get some shut eye.

Dust

I can honestly say that I do not like dust. At all.

From 5pm-2:15am, I have been sitting in front of this computer removing little specs of dust and other unknown spots from my scanned in negatives.  In addition to that, I was adjusting the levels and curves of every photo.  As of right now, I am completely satisfied and finished with 81 negatives.  I still have to scan around 80 negatives (give or take a few crappy pictures).  After I get all those in I will have a total of around 180 negatives to remove dust from and do other fun stuff to.
And yet, I just want to go out and take more pictures.  I don't know why I am saying that like taking more pictures is a bad thing, because that is honestly what I need to be doing to learn more.  When I can actually get out and just escape from everything and everyone is when I feel the most 'in the zone'.  Having my camera in my hands allows me to forget everything and simply focus on my subject(s).  It is like a mini vacation :)

Enough deep thought for me tonight, my brain is mush from all of my Photoshopping tonight.  Here are my top 5 favorite images out of the 81 I played with tonight.  Let me know your thoughts please.

*All of these were taken using 35mm Kodak Professional Tri-X 400 film 

Chicago outside my sister's apartment

Bartram Forest - Milledgeville, GA

Burned down structure in Talbotton, GA

Located in the neighborhood where my sister lives in Chicago

Bartram Forest - Milledgeville, GA

Dreams

My grandparents are selling their house and it makes me really sad.  The thought of someone else living in that house doesn't appeal to me at all. It would be awesome if my sister our someone else on the family could buy the house.
Anyway, we were talking and if she could get a loan to get the house we would turn the downstairs into the creative studio. I would make a dark room, my brother would have his painting studio, and my sister would have herself a place to write.

Of what a dream that would be...

What do people think when they look at my images?  Do they get the same feeling that I get?

I don't want someone to say "O, this is such a pretty picture" and that be the only thing they say about it.  Explain to me in words, out loud, what you are thinking.  Even if it sounds completely stupid, I want to know.  I feel like the most important type of criticism for me right now would be in that form.  I feel as though I am in the stage of experimentation anyway so in a sense, I don't need/want people to criticize the form, contrast, and such of my images.  I simply want them to tell me what they feel and think of when they stare into one of my images.  What deeper meaning do they think of?

Here is one for y'all to get started on...

Be honest, I need some direction and insight on what my photographs bring to people.

Kodak 400TX B&W 120 film

Side note: all of my images are Photographed, Developed, and Processed by me.  I only use film and do not use photoshop for any 'special effects'.

finally

After so many years of my siblings, and basically everyone else in the world, having a blog, I have decided to create one.  I figured that typing out my thoughts and ideas would be helpful in the long run when it comes to forming my exhibition that I am having in December.  A lot of the posts will probably be random...much like my thought process actually.
More to come after I get some shut eye.